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Marriage as a Spiritual Practice

If you want to evolve and be happy, open your heart and clean up your relationships.


We have not come here to take prisoners but to surrender, ever more deeply, to freedom and joy.” Hafiz


It’s impossible for me to believe but, I’ve been married to the same man for over 30 years. One thing I struggle with is when my husband tells a story I’ve heard a hundred times before. I haven’t just heard what happened before, I’ve heard his interpretation of it a hundred times too. This is just a speck of an example of the challenge of keeping it fresh but, it goes beyond that. When I hear him repeat a story or even think I know what he’ll do or say, a little veil goes over my heart. I stop fully experiencing him as ‘life unfolding before my eyes’ and I realize, I stop living that way as well. This is when the awesome beauty of arising reality dims and the world’s magic disappears. Both of us and all of it are sacrificed to my habit of judgement, separation and superiority.


And I wonder, why can’t I just let myself feel my feelings, unedited? I don’t have to share every thought but can’t I just allow the warts to be present with the beauty? Are negative feelings really so bad that feeling them will hurt the relationship, or my self-image? Will a bad feeling break my fragile heart?


Transparency and flow allows for so much more room to feel it all and to experience the Oneness that underlies the Many. We blossom when, instead of shrinking from our edges, we meet them, with the fullness of our hearts.


Relationships have to be set right. I have no prayer of freeing myself from the limits of my personality until I accept people as they are – with an open heart. Sometimes this hurts, a lot. However, unless the heart co-operates, and lets me experience my experience instead of analyzing it, I never fully show up. I put myself on a shelf watching life. I get stuck in some attitude and dry up and higher states of awakened consciousness are impossible to realize and embody.


My heart’s opening to it’s true potential – to experience boundless love – IS the step to realization and embodiment. Boundless means unending AND unconditional.


To be fully present in life means to be aware of our oneness as dynamically alive and constantly changing, being born every moment. This is what it is to love and to be in love with creation.


This is the mystery that cracks my heart wide open.


In every moment, you can either be a host to God or a hostage to your ego. It’s your choice.” Wayne Dyer.


May your thirsty heart drink in all the love right here and now,




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2 Responses to Marriage as a Spiritual Practice

  1. Georgia Haneke says:

    thank you for reminding me of what you shared, especially about the ‘repetitive stories you have heard so many times’! It made me laugh, and it reminded me that how I can choose to react ie. more lovingly, rather than critically, makes that repetition an opportunity to create a win win …as it affords me another opportunity to shift myself to becoming a more conscious human being and loving wife.

    • ourdailybreath says:

      Hi Georgia,
      When I catch myself thinking “Oh, not that story again!” I realize it’s an opportunity for me to stay awake to the unfolding moment. Even if I have heard it all before, this time, it’s fresh, it’s never unfolded quite this way before, it’s a new creation.

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