“I practice one religion and that religion is kindness.” His Holiness The Dalai Lama
From my own many years of struggle, I can tell you that not having compassion for yourself means you waste years running away from your own process. You may fool yourself into thinking you are dealing with it but actually, all you may be doing is feeding it and making it your big excuse.
Or, you could run from it.This can take the form of indulging in gossip, drama, affairs, alcohol and drug abuse, eating disorders, overspending, overworking, obsessions, depression, anger, not being able to say ‘no’, criticizing yourself and others etc. It doesn’t make you tougher to shut down. It’s a form of acting-out, it doesn’t take the pain away and it’s useless.
YOUR SHIT IS NO STINKIER
As one of my teachers, Thomas Hubl, says: “The way out is through…” I would like to add: “and the way in is through compassion for ourselves.” The only way to resolve the struggling is to meet it. This person or situation is in your life for a reason. There may be a great gift hiding inside it. There is certainly growth. One type of kindness is practiced by giving what is real the space it’s asking for in your life. Now things can begin to heal.
Having compassion for yourself, your ego and your shadow means you give yourself a break so you can look deeper. Your shit is no stinkier than anyone else’s.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
Compassion and kindness create space and stretch time. You feel more spaceous and there is less of a sense of urgency. Then you realize you have friends and allies who can help you through. In fact, once you show up – heart and soul- to what is unfolding before you (and if you are open), an unexpected form of help will ALWAYS come to your aid. Then you can become aware of the fact that you already have everything you need, there is really nothing to change, just different choices to make in the moment. What felt like struggle now feels easy.
Kindness is the opening. Compassion is the balm that heals the wound, moves you forward and opens you to a force field of creativity.
The potential outcome we desire is always present in the field of any situation. When we shift our energy to kindness and compassion we redirect it from the knots of struggle that have burrowed little pathways of habit, just beneath the radar screen of our awareness, into our brains, our bones and our breath.
Here is a little exercise I call 5 STEPS TO RECEIVING GRACE. Start with a small struggle.
- Try this simple act of kindness by slowing down, breathing and asking yourself
“What’s here for me? What feelings are moving through me now?”
- You will know what you’re feeling in your body, even if it doesn’t have a name. It can be tightness in the throat or butterflies in the stomach. Stop before you can add a story about why you’re feeling it. Just stick with what the body is telling you.
- Compassion can be not passing any judgement on what you’re feeling or not feeling
(because feeling blank issomething).
- Compassion can be giving yourself the support you need to simply be with the feeling.
If you stay with it, it changes.
- Compassion and kindness are most clearly demonstrated by you making it safe for yourself to feel what has been denied. If you are sending your energy into your legs and pelvis, standing straight and breathing steadily through the nose, you increase your capacity to tolerate feeling. This is how stuck energy moves and clears.
Once you establish a relationship with the feeling – from a place of safety- energy begins to flow and healing and evolution unfold. When you arrive at this point, help shows up, because we are never alone.
This beautiful story reminds me that the help I seek is always there. It’s by an unknown author, I found on www.spiritualstories.com. (If you know that author, please let me know.)
One night an old man dreamt he was walking along a beach with God. As he looked up at the sky, he saw all the scenes of his life flash by along with two sets of footprints: one set for himself and the other set for God.
After all the scenes had flashed before him, he looked back at those footprints and noticed something quite disturbing. At the most difficult times in his life, he saw only one set of footprints.
This deeply troubled the man, so he turned and said to God, “You said that if I followed you, you would always walk with me through thick and thin. In looking back, I see that during the most painful times, there is only one set of footprints. Why did you leave me when I needed you the most?”
“I love you and would never leave. It was during those times when you suffered the most that I carried you.”
May you be free,
Elizabeth & Bruce
p.s. Embody your awakening.
p.p.s. Do you have a story to share about being guided or supported through a stormy time by an unseen force? Please join the conversation, share your insights and like and share us on Facebook. Let’s get a the transformation going.
p.p.s.s.If you’d like help walking through this 5 Step Process, we invite you to contact us for a Personal Guidance Session at email@example.com.